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Sunday, August 9, 2009

Friends, how many of us have them?

That's from an old Whodini song, one of my favorites, I love old school rap. It's my favorite. I was thinking the other day, how awesome it is to have good friends. People you can depend on, that can depend on you. I'm always thankful for my friends, they are an essential support system for me. When I go through things, they are there to vent, to laugh, to talk, to advise, to look funny at your dumb decision and to give all the encouragement and support you'll ever need. I didn't know how lucky I was to have my best friend until my marriage fell apart, she was there, she understood, she listened and she let me know that I was making a right decision for me. It didn't matter about anybody else, it was about me and my life that needed to be done. She's a wonderful friend. I'm so thankful for her and all my friends those that I've made in real life and online. I hope I'm as good a friend to them as they are to me and I want to make sure they know, I appreciate what they do, they may not know what they do but they bring great joy to my life.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Okay I'm dating, now what?

I've decided to have an exclusive relationship with someone after many dates and wasted time with cretins and people with mental issues they refuse to solve I've found someone I think is worthy of me. I don't mean to be narcissistic but I do think I'm pretty good catch. Not bad for a 37 year old broad, highly educated, at peace with myself and my surroundings, kind of low/high maintenance (I'll have to explain that later), kind, nice smile, pretty decent shape, funny, and I have gained some life lessons that I actually learned from. So here he comes, cute, nice guy, funny, little shy, wears glasses, actually knows how to make a plan and follow it, can take care of his own business, good music taste, a little younger about 3 years, he's not perfect but who is. All I want at this point in life is someone I can work with and that can work with me. Now, we're dating and I'm scared. I don't want to make any of the mistakes that I made with my ex, I don't want the miscommunication, selfishness, pressure, meanness, and neediness that came with him and our marriage. I'm trying my best to change those things, to throw them out like the baby with the bath water. I don't need that. When I got married in my twenties I had no idea what I wanted from another human being and I didn't even know what I didn't want, so I got nothing. Now, I may not be completely sure of all the things I want but I most definitely know what I do not want and that's the beginning of me attempting to have a healthy relationship with M. I know, I know, it was P in the other post but as I was making a decision he got pushed to the side, he didn't hold enough interest and seemed like he wanted to party more than be in a relationship but he was 23 yrs old. I told ya'll, I thought he was too young. LOL.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Oh, What a Tangled Web we Weave

I have a friend, we're not really that close but I like her and she's a good person. But she's been making some questionable choices regarding her marriage lately. She is actually on her way up here to visit my best friend and I and stay with her. She's a lovely person but has some self-confidence issues that rear their ugly head in ways that lead her to destructive decisions. Now, I've made some questionable choices, ooohhhh have I made some questionable choices. None of which I will be revealing to any of you on here. You have to take that one to the backroom and yes like a lot of women while I'm in that web I'm thinking it's going to work out. Until one day it hits me in the head and says "No fool, this ain't gonna work." My best friend has been advising her but my advice to my best friend is to leave it alone, unfortunately you cannot tell grown people what to do they'll do what they want anyway. Her decisions have absolutely no way of turning out good on either end and I'm a tad shocked she doesn't see it. Because I'm sure anyone else would know, at some point, what is done in the dark shall come to the light as my grandmother used to always say. But she's keeping hope alive and still heading down the path of atomic sized destruction. I can only be a good friend by letting her make her own decisions and being there for her when it does end in inevitable diaster and not saying "I told you so." I hate what I know is about to happen to her but sometimes mistakes are the best way to learn a good lesson.

Ahhh, I'm in Like

Oh my goodness, I'm in like with somebody. I know that sounds weird but you just don't know that's a big step for me especially coming out my marriage. I'm not in love, well because that just takes longer, I'm moving slow with this purposefully. I don't want to get my feelings hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, that's really important to me. I'm getting to know this person and we've been out several times and he's growing on me. Now like I say, I'm not in love. I might have a little lust going on but I have lust going on several times a day so that ain't nothing special, LOL. I see all kinds of fine men and think "oh boy, I'd like a piece of that." But I just want a piece, I'm not inclined to want the whole bucket, anyway I don't like dark meat. But this like thing is special. We still need to have what I deem "the talk" of are we exclusively dating and such, because I will not be assuming anything. I have to hear it from the horse's mouth, assuming is what got me married in the first place and I probably shouldn't have been. But I'm going to enjoy this, I've been through a lot lately more than I've ever revealed to anyone. It was really painful sometimes but I'm good at hiding my feelings but what I feel like now is that the fog is lifting and things are dropping into place. Now, who knows we may not work out at all but that's okay, I'm okay with that. "Rejection is God's protection" and you better believe it I need all the protection I can get when it comes to my heart. I'm not putting it completely off the market but I ain't handing it over to anyone again like it's a stick of bubble gum. LOL.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I love flirting, good lord I love flirting. I do it all the time, with all types of men of any age and it's great. I went out tonight to a really good sushi restaurant and the bartender who was probably the age of my older nephew (yes, I am becoming a cougar lol) was gorgeous. So my best friend and I just sat there and flirted with him shamelessly but I am shameless about it. He was really cute, half Hawaiian, half black, that was a hot interracial combo. He was smiling and umm he had a nice smile and blushing and we just kept on flirting. He gave us money off our bill, so I'll go back there and tell him how freaking hot he was again.
I just do it because I have nothing to lose. It's not like we're gonna start dating and I want to give compliments where compliments are deserved. I sometimes think with really hot guys they probably don't get approached a lot, women probably think "oh he's too cute he'll never talk to me" but they want to be approached and chatted up like everybody else. He loved it and kept coming back for more. I like flirting, it makes me feel powerful and kind of sexy in a strange way. I will be flirting again tomorrow, maybe I'll come back and tell you all about it.

Oh my goodness

I had a date tonight, I've been dating here lately and it's been going pretty well. I can't say I've found the love of my life or that I'm actually looking for him. I can say I wanted to date because I didn't date when I was dating my husband and I certainly should have. (Note: Even if you like him ladies, date other guys until he asks you to actually take to the next level, don't just assume.) So tonight I had a date with a guy we'll call him P (I'm making him anonymous to protect the innocent and the guilty LOL.) but he was nice and it was nice date. But I'm having one weird issue and it's bothering me and not him, he's 23 years old. Now I've never dated a younger man especially one that's 14 years younger. Yikes! But the weirder part was it was really good date, much better than some of the dramatized older guys I dated. He was nice, a gentlemen, held an excellent conversation, asked me questions about myself and listened, he was funny and sarcastic just like I like them. He had the face of a 12 year old but seemed so much more mature than the whiny 40 year old, who can't get over their last girlfriend or ex-wife. I'm wondering am I becoming a cougar?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Wow! I'm blogging

Well this is my very first blog and I'm Jeannie, I'm 37 years old and I live in the PNW. I own my own business and I love it. I'm in the middle of a divorce and couldn't be happier about it. I'm free and happy and finally got some peace. But now I've stepped back into the world of dating. I've been out of this world for like 13 years and the last time I dated, it was nothing like this. Internet, online, chatting, match sites and people giving you way too much information way too fast. Dude, I have NO interest in your seeing your shaved package, you don't even know my last name. LOL.
I'm dating and I just finding it strange. Is it me or have men become more like women? All the drama and neediness. I'm trying to date and have fun, I don't want to marry anybody and I have no interest in trying to move in someone's house. I like where I live and I like my life, boy I really must be doing something wrong or putting out a bad signal.
Now, I date white guys and I like them and they like me but I notice a lot of white guys where I live are kind of skittish about dating interracially well at least with black women. On more than one occasion here lately I've heard two things about black women that we are either really wild in the sack or totally frigid. I keep thinking they both can't be true. I'm also so shocked that in 2009 somebody would still be thinking that backwards. So I choose them carefully, there have stand ups, lies, deciet, drama, weirdness, inappropriate behavior, and just flat out gone from the sublime to the ridiculous and I'm looking to share my triumphants and foibles as I figure out how the hell am I supposed to date at the age of 37.
I hope you enjoy it.