Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Do Not Interracially Date Someone that Hates
I cannot give this warning strong enough to black women who are or have decided to open up your options in dating. I cannot give this warning strong enough to any non-black man that has decided to date black women. DO NOT and I repeat do not waste any of your precious time dating a person that hates the people of the opposite sex in their own racial category or the folks of the same sex in yours. What that means in clear English is if you date a white man and he hates white women or black men don't date him. He's got issues and problems and probably hates all women. That's dangerous for women. If you're a Latino man and you date a black woman and she hates black men or Latino women, run, don't walk for the door. I don't care what anyone says, you may not have a preference for certain people in dating and mating but the pure hate thing is just weird and a red flag that this person is either trying to get back at the men and women of their race and you're being used, dumb ass. I really liked the fact that Matt didn't have some seething hatred for white women or black men while I may not want to date black men, I'm not on the hater-ade wagon. Really as I've said before I really could care less what black men are or are not doing and with whom. I regularly read and peruse some BWE and BWIR blogs and lately have seen more and more black women commenting who seem so bitter towards black men and white women in particular. As usual, things I would never do I don't understand why other people do nor do I care to understand. I am not trying to drag bitter baggage into a relationship, no one wants that. I've also come across white men who were really hating on white women and I was like 'no thank you, I'm not trying to participate in your bitter party'. Really folks need to work out those issues before they even hang out with the rest of humanity. No one wants to be someone's second choice because they're mad at Jerome or Becky. Also no man is going to take me out like a show pony to make random women who have rejected him mad. I refuse to be used in such a disgusting manner. Now some people are okay with those of kinds of games but I'm a grown ass woman and I'm not going there, EVER. So if you meet these people and notice their conversation seems to revolve around how black men aren't this or white women aren't that, you tell them to 'strap that to their ass and get to walking' LOL. This public service announcement brought to you by Eugenia, Long-Time Swirler.
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I don't get this either. I may not want to date black men but I do not hate them. It's a difference between dating preference and who can just be a friend. I think some women are licking their wounds and they blame all black men rather than the one black man that is responsible for hurting them. Hell, all rainbeau men can hurt you. That's where vetting comes in.
ReplyDeleteThank you! As a longtime (15 years married) "swirler" I read some of these BWE blogs and see the posters commenting about how they don't like or trust white women and I'm thinking, then how do you think you're going to deal with this man's mother, sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, etc? You marry a family when you marry, you don't just get the man.
ReplyDelete@Cheri, yea I may not want to date bm but I don't hate them, I don't love them either unless they are my family but the outright hate. I'd be wary of ppl like that, they got too much invested in negativity.
ReplyDelete@LiquidFrye, THIS! Yes, you have female family members you are going to have to deal with. Do bw really think he's going to be okay with hating his family members for no good reason? And if he is, run girl!
It seems like that's mostly what you see in the BWE blogosphere. I was appalaed to see all of the hatred comin from a majority of these women towards Black men. Then I had to realize, "hurt people, hurt people." It still makes no sense, and I stay away from it.
ReplyDelete@Intergratedmemoirs It's become disturbing and really disturbing that some bloggers are encouraging this. What does my hating bm add to my life, how does that help me, how does that uplift me? That's my question, that kind of unmitigated hate and disdain is not productive and adds nothing to bw's lives. I wouldn't be worried if folks just were indifferent but the encouraging of hate, just eats at you, does nothing to the other person. I'm sorry my life is too full and good and happy to try to include hate especially for a set of ppl I'm completely not concerned about. I'll say this for any man or woman that dates anyone inter-racially, if they are spewing hate, yea you need to get the hell of outta there. That's not good, love can't grow in all darkness.
ReplyDeleteTo the title: indeed.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I know people just like to complain so someone might seem bitter when they are just ranting.
Oh Alee, I can rant too. I know a rant and I can understand ppl's frustration at situations and ppl. But I can distinguish between a rant and just plain crazy, they don't sound anything alike, they are discernible.
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