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Sunday, July 24, 2011

I'll Pay Anything for a Pair of Pants

When I say that, I don't mean any pants I mean a pair that actually fit. I don't know who designs women's pants but I'm thinking it's the devil because they never fit me. As with most black women, I have a small waist some ample hips and big ol' round bubble butt. There's no other way to call it, my butt must contribute to a decent portion of my weight now luckily I have a boobs that are pretty proportional but I never have issues finding shirts that fit or skirts or dresses but pants are the bane of my existence. I do mean I will pay anything for a pair of slacks, khakis, shorts, or jeans that fit correctly. I suffer from what is affectionately called whale tail, isn't that cute...NOT! Because my hips, butt, and thighs are a tad on the meaty side I can never find pants that fit. Even when I was thinner than I am now in my 20s, I had the same issue because my butt and hips ain't going nowhere no matter how much weight I lose or gain. Yes, I am curvy vuluptous so I buy a size 14 pants but the waist is always too big. Now I've heard that maybe I should take them to the tailor to have them altered but really I'd have to take every pair of pants I own and some of those I'd end up paying a tailor more to alter the pants than I paid for the pants. Why can't anyone just make pants for women who have butts? I can't be the only woman complaining about this. Pants seem to be made for women who are shaped like Tide boxes, really that's not how the majority of women are shaped. Most of us black and white women have hips and some kind of behind, albeit some are smaller than others. Too bad for those girls.

Recently my favorite pair of pants I bought many moons ago from the Gap started to show wear and tear, by that I mean a hole was coming into the seat of the pants. I really loved those pants, they fit great so I wore them often. They were a nice pair of dressy or casual cigarette black pants. I adored them because it's so hard for me to find a nice pair of pants that fit when I do, I'll wear them out. Well I was saddened and dismayed by this turn of events so I went on the hunt to find a replacement pair. Mind you, I have several pair of black pants but these I really did love the way they fit and looked, perfect in all the right places. I bought a pair online, I should know better than to buy a pair of pants online by now I got them and they fit terrible. I found a pair at Target, they were okay but I still wasn't feeling the love. So last Friday, I'm on a shopping spree picking up things for my wedding, undergarments, bought Matt a nice tie for his suit at Nordstrom, you know perusing. I came upon my pants while in the Gap, again, buying a t-shirt. Oh, sweet baby jesus, I was so happy after these many years they were selling those pants. I got my size, took them home and viola they fit just great as the last pair. Joy has come to Eugenia in her pants shopping. I bought them and didn't even check the price. I could care less when it comes to pants, I will pay anything. I happily bought two, mind you two pair, of Magic Johnson's wife Cookie's CJ jeans and shelled out $250 bucks to do it like nothing. I love those jeans, they are still my two favorite pair and they always fit correctly with no gaps in the back and hug my curves like a baby's mama. I'm planning on going back to buy another pair asap. I would like to know why I have to be willing to give up my first born to get a pair of pants that fit correctly but I'm thinking that I'll figure it out. So I go on in my quest to find the perfect pants to fit my perfect curves. Oh well, it's the price I pay for being curvy vuluptous.


  1. Well I think you already have the answers.
    1. Take to tailor.
    2. When you find the pants you like, buy more than one.
    3. Buy from companies that cater to curves like Cookies jean and apple bottom.
    4. Make your own.
    5. Have a seamstress make your pants.

  2. Yea those are all great, but I just don't want to do all that just to a pair of pants that fit. But for now, cest la vie.

  3. lol "women shaped like Tide boxes"... great visual

  4. Thanks AcademicAllie, I had a college friend shaped like that and she thought she was the finest thing on the planet, SMDH.

  5. 250 dollars. Ummm... now, I love clothes and all. But I would go to some thrift stores with that. However, I understand your plight with finding the right size and fit.