I'm not a confrontational person by nature, now if you say something to me that doesn't sound right believe me I will say something back. Usually in my sarcastic way that makes people feel about 2 feet tall as they should for letting stupid crap come out their mouths. I don't regularly notice people paying attention to me, I've a wonderful gift for ignoring people so most of time others are never on my radar. But I've noticed something lately and I don't know what to make of it. I'm not a booster when it comes myself, I don't think I'm particularly anything super special. I'm an average attractive woman but so are most of the women in the world. So when I walk into a room I'm not ever thinking all eyes are on me. But here lately I've noticed something as Matt and I are out and about hanging out in bars and restaurants. I see white couples, a male and female and then all of a sudden when the white woman spots me she's all over her boyfriend/husband. I don't notice this in all white females just those around my age or older. Matt and I were at one of new favorite spots in Edmonds called Rory's and we sat down around a common fire pit in the middle of the floor containing about eight seats, there was just one couple there, a white man and woman. It was obvious they were together but it wasn't like they were being particularly affectionate. When Matt and I sat down I noticed her cut her eyes at me, why I have no idea. I figured it was because I was with this big handsome Swede but I'm not sure. Then all of a sudden she was all over the man, she nuzzled up close, started touching him and rubbing on him. As if to say this is mine, stay away. Now I'm not sure why she would think I wanted her man. He wasn't particularly handsome and I have a man, one I love and adore. No need for her to piss her man's leg so I wouldn't run off with him. I've noticed this on a couple of other occasions. At first I thought maybe it was just me, I was tripping but after awhile it happened so often I started to think am I threatening to these women. Now this doesn't happen if I'm just out with a friend, it only happens when I'm out with Matt. Maybe I'm tripping and still tripping but I notice patterns and I was wondering, what the hell was this is about. The woman is eyeing me like I'm going to put her man in a Svengali trance and he'll run away with me. All I ever think is 'what are you looking at?' I have a man, I have no interest in someone else's man. It's just been really strange. I was wondering has this happened to another woman in a bw/non-bm couple? Because if I'm only one this has happened to, maybe I'm just boosting myself. Which I have no intention of doing. I'm just putting this out there so I can figure out if maybe I'm just being paranoid. Because this is starting to getting weird.
I wouldn't put to much thought into it, it's their problem not yours. The situation you described reminds me of an experience I had years ago. I was walking through a hotel lobby with a friend (we're both BW) and we encountered an IR couple (BW/WM, well when she saw us she nearly pulled his arm out of the socket in an effort to keep him away from us; I was shocked by her behavior. It was as if she was saying, "he's mine". I suspect she wasn't very secure in her relationship.
ReplyDeleteAnon, I wasn't really upset more than just surprised b/c it had happened before. I just wanted to see if anyone else had this odd experience. It wasn't as if the man she was with was even noticing me, he wasn't, he was looking at the baseball game. It was just weird, that's all.
ReplyDeleteNo you are not tripping. I have white female friends and I have told them myself that white women are the most jealous, threatened group of women. They laugh at me, but I'm serious. lol I have encountered the same thing. It is what it is. I just don't look at folks anymore and enjoy the company I am with. Folks are just bleeding for the opportunity to cut their eyes at you or give you a nasty look to show their disdain for your relationship. I don't give them the pleasure of eye contact.
ReplyDeleteAs I said above Andi, I wasn't particularly bothered the times it's happened and it's not tons of times. I'm just kind of shocked cause it's just weird to me. It's not like the woman is a bad looking woman and needs to be threatened by me. It's not like the dude is so hot I'm about to jump him across the table. Every white man I see I don't want. LOL. It's just odd. I can't say I've had the experience that Anon had with the bw w/ wm looking at me crazy. Usually if I see them out with Matt we get happy smiles, relieved to see a couples like ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI know I am late on this but heres my take. It's happened to me as well on a number of occasions and my view is that WW generally are pretty insecure and yes, jealous. The whole 'tossing their hair' in a BW's face, trying to put BW down and fighting HARD to ensure the WW is seen as the standard of beauty is simply a ploy to cover up intense insecurity and fear about the implied or real hotness and beauty of BW. When they see an attractive BW especially with a WM those insecurities come to fore and they go all out to stake their claim and remind him (and you) that they are hot too. I live in the UK and recently went to a show to see a stunning, velvet voiced singer Mayra Andrade (google her, she is really talented) - at a small, intimate venue. Lots of couples there mainly WW/WM. Now Mayra is gorgeous and 100% of the time the mens eyes were glued to her throughout the performance, hanging on to her every word, laughing at her jokes etc. Now of course she is on stage they have to look at her but you could tell this was no hardship for the men.lol! Anyway the WW spent most of the evening rubbing up on their men, whispering in his ears, and just really trying to subtly distract them from the performance as if to say hey, I'm here, notice me! Can we say threatened?lol. The reality is that a well put together, attractive, confident and very important-feminine BW strikes fear into the average insecure WW's (and there are many) heart.
ReplyDeleteWell, I still don't get it. I'm not particularly worried, I guess I don't get it b/c it's not something I would ever think or want to do. So when that happens it just confuses me as to why anyone else would do it. But if she's insecure, that's her problem, not mine. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving my man, I'm doing anything to try to make her feel better so she's wasting precious time worrying about me. I wouldn't waste mine.
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