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Monday, March 14, 2011

Let the Kids Lead the Way

I am always amazed at young people. Sometimes they can be a source of pure frustration and other times of great pride and joy. I have 14 nieces and nephews (this includes Matt's nieces and nephews). I have nine that are my family by blood and five that will be my family by marriage. Only 4 of the those are small children, the rest of either teenagers or young adults. I recently read a great post on Crush'ed's blog A Crush a Day, it was titled Futuristic Lover and she was giving some advice to a young black woman about dating interracially. I like that she's a young woman giving other young women advice. I don't always think older black women should be doing this in every case, I feel like sometimes we have a lot a racial baggage (especially in the U.S.) these kids don't have and shouldn't pick up and we sometimes want to put that crap on young people. They don't deserve it. When you read the blog, notice the YouTube videos she's added to the post as they instruct kids at University of South Carolina how to do the blind date. It doesn't seem to matter that the participants are a black girl and white boy, they're just young people dating. I loved this post when I saw it and I'm just convinced that the younger generation is going to lead the way when it comes to IR dating, mating and marriage. These kids have a wide world open to them via the internet and travel, they actually do know people from the around the world. They're friends with those kids and they go to school with those kids so some of the drama of the past is dissipating with this generation. I wouldn't be short-sighted enough to say it will go away but it's gone way further than it did when I was in high school back in the, ehem, 80s. My teenage and young adult nieces and nephews are all kids open to the idea or have already dated interracially. I don't know if as their Aunt I was example to them, that yes it's okay to have options when you date and you should take those or it's okay to date someone who doesn't look exactly like you. I hope I had some influence over them but whether I did or didn't I'm glad they get to see many people as potential mates and not get stuck thinking you have to be a matching set. I'm glad young women like Crush'ed are helping other young black women get on board and feel okay about liking someone that isn't black. I don't want to pass the paranoia of the last generation on to these kids when it comes to interracial dating, they're different and it's a different time whether we older folks want to acknowledge it or not. I'm so thankful that my nieces and nephews feel secure in knowing they can find someone that's right for them not someone that's right in everyone else's eyes. I love it that many kids today are so open to dating/mating interracially. I love this video by Kevin Jumba, it's hilarious and true in some ways.


  1. Oh I would love to see more young people in my country dating each other.

    We're still a bit torn up about Apartheid, but they younger generations who don't got memories from that time are more open. Kinda weird though, here it's the white guys taking the lead not the black guys.

    I don't know why, but maybe its because the kids wont be black but recognized as both black and white.

    Accessibility maybe? They seem to be picking up the educated black girls while the black guys goes for the less educated black girls when they pick a girl to marry..

    Whatever the case it's growing, slowly but it's growing :)

  2. I'm a tad jealous of my nieces and nephews they have lots of things to overcome that I didn't have but that's not one of them. They're free with their lives and choices in that vain. I only wished I could have done the things they got to do when I a teenager, race and the thought of racial rejection was always at the forefront of mind as a teenager. I'm for us 'old folks' like me staying out of these kids way when it comes to dating IR, they seem to be way ahead of most of us.